Real Talk: Why I Fell Out Of Love With The Fitness Community.

Fell out of love with the fitness community. Fitspiration. Obsession.

Uh-oh. Controversial. But i feel like i really needed to get this post out there. It has been on my mind since i first started the blog actually. I eluded to it on my 'About Me' page. It's a rather personal post and not everyone will agree. But from personal experience and observations i can see the damage that the fitness industry can do to vulnerable people. And sometimes, i actually wish i'd never tried to lose weight in the first place. I wish i never searched #fitspiration on Instagram or Tumblr. I wish i never joined the gym. I wish i never followed bikini competitors. Most of all... i wish i never let my body define my self-worth.

Its true.. for a long time i let my weight on the scales dictate who i was a person. I had to be skinny. I had to look like my inspiration Nikki Blacketter. I had to have goals to compete. Or who was i? Why was i even working out if i didn't want a six-pack to post on instagram or to strut around in a bikini on stage? Nowadays the fitness community is bombarded with competitors. Shredded competitors with minimal body fat. At one point i wanted that. I thought i needed that. But as time has gone on i have realised i need to follow a more balanced approach.

So i fell out of love with fitness. The fitness community. The fitness ethos that i had once been such a part of. I was sick of feeling like a failure if i didn't work out 6 times a week (sometimes twice a day - can't forget that fasted cardio eh?!). Sick of seeing egg whites and protein oats on my instagram feed. Tired of looking at shredded physiques that i felt like i was never going to achieve. And you know why i wasn't going to achieve it? Because deep down i didn't really want to. I really wasn't that arsed. I value eating triple scoops of ice-cream with my family more. Going for pizzas with my flatmates. And sharing a big, fat takeaway with my boyfriend.

Achieving Balance:
Working out because you want to. NOT because you have to or you should. 

Working out to take care of your body - to get fitter or stronger. NOT to change how it looks. NOT because you hate your body, 

Eating healthily or following macros in moderation. NOT restricting yourself and missing out on memories with friends or family.

Focusing on goals and personal bests. NOT focusing on your weight or body fat as a marker of 'fitness'.

I was guilty of a lot of those. I wouldn't go on a night out because i didn't want to waste calories on alcohol. Or not wanting to go for a meal with my family because i didn't have the macros. This is not fun and it's not healthy.

Balance is hard. But achievable.

This is why i unfollowed A LOT of people on Instagram. I want to focus more on positivity, on loving my body with all its flaws and enjoying life to the full! I don't want to be constantly thinking about hitting my protein or making sure i get in all my gym sessions. Don't get me wrong, fitness will always be a big part of my life. But, i work out at the gym because i love it. I enjoy it. It's my me time. My escape. I fell out of love with all the pressures that come along with it - with the ideal, Instagram 'fit life'.

Does anybody else feel this way? Or is it just me? 
Is anybody else striving for balance?

Sidenote: The "Real Talk" series is going to be a series of posts about body positivity and self love. This is a topic i am extremely passionate about.



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