PFF: self love

Showing posts with label self love. Show all posts

What kind of blogger would I be if I didn't end this year with a reflection post?! I'm going to share with you 8 things that have made me a very happy lady this year and 8 things i've learnt throughout the last 12 months. Gosh it has it gone SO fast, I honestly cannot believe it. 2016 has been pretty turbulent but on the most part it's been a good year. I'm reflecting on this year with a humongous smile. Here goes...

8 things i am grateful for:

Meeting new people

2016 has been THE year for meeting a whole bunch of amazing new people (although we can't forget all the existing amazing people I already know! - i love ya). I love getting to know new people and i've been lucky to make some amazing friendships.

Travelling (a lot!)

I have also travelled a lot this year! I experienced my first long-haul flight to Malaysia (eek!), visited two lovely islands with incredibly blue seas (Kos & Cyprus), visited some new cities within the UK, went to 'Dam, spent Christmas in the Canaries. It makes me feel incredibly, incredibly lucky and I am thankful for every single trip I take. Nothing fulfils me more than spending time in nature and exploring new places. Happy, happy days!

Graduating

I made it. I finally bloody made it. Now i'm onto my master's but never mind.. who doesn't want to graduate twice. I feel so lucky to have graduated with 1st Class Honours and fab marks in my dissertation. I am thankful because I worked so hard and i'm so glad it paid off. I'm grateful for having the chance to educate myself, to learn new things and to have the amazing experience I had. Yes it was actually fun sometimes too.

Getting ma car 🚗

Brum Brum. In 2016 I managed to not only pass my driving test but also (with the help of my lovely mother) get myself a little Fiat 500. Yas, hello, i'm happy, I love it. I've only had it around a month but it gives me so much more freedom and independence so I don't have to get my chauffeurs (my mum and my boyfriend) to drive me everywhere.

Becoming 100% vegetarian and 95% vegan

I want to try and avoid labelling myself as much as possible but... I am incredibly happy I found a way to eat that suits me. That makes me happy. It's been a long time coming after a long time with body/food 'issues'. This type of diet suits my beliefs and my loves - nature, animals, compassion, equality etc. It makes me feel great - less binging, more satiating, full of nutrients. Eating like this has helped me a lot and I feel better than ever.

Growth in self-love/body image

Linking to the point above, this has been the year of learning to love myself mentally and physically. In 2015 I struggled a lot with body issues (I eluded to it in this post). Whereas 2016, especially the latter half, has really helped me with those self-esteem issues. I've learnt to love myself a lot more, i'm embracing my flaws and learning to value myself for more than just what I look like. Looks aren't everything believe it or not! This is something that WILL continue in 2017, i'm not quite there yet...

Bringing back my love for blogging

I used to blog back in my college days (2010-2012 ish) and gave up due to A-level demands. Oh the fun. So i'm really glad I managed to rekindle my love for blogging. The community is so lovely - yes i'm talking about you lovely lot! It's been an amazing year of blogging which i've managed to keep up throughout university, exams and all that jazz. Yay me.

Experiences > things (life's short yo', appreciate it!)

This year i'm so grateful for all the wonderful memories i've had chance to make. It's been the year of saying 'yes' for me. I've experienced so many new things (see my bucket list post) and simply learnt to enjoy every moment I do have. I've realised how short life is - I guess that comes with age eh - and learnt to appreciate experiences more than things. That means less shopping and more travelling, going out, eating out, hanging out...

8 things I have learnt in 2016:

Be a good egg

Not that this is new to me. I've always tried to be a good egg. But this year i've focused on being a 'good' person. I've learnt that it is very good to be a good egg not just for yourself but for others. So be a good egg people

There's more to life than food and weight - so love yourself regardless

This is something i'm grateful for like i said above but, it's also something i've had to learn. I've had to learn that loving myself for what and who I am is farrrrrr more important than trying to be a certain weight or look a particular way. I've had to learn that looking in the mirror and liking what I see is about more than what my body looks like. Actually, I can love me. Losing 10lbs will not make me a better, happier or more loveable person. Life is for L I V I N G and not about the number on the scales!

I can venture out the house in joggers and no makeup

Funnily enough this has taking me 21 years to figure out. When I think back to how obsessed I was about how I looked.. it makes me cringe. In 2016 I have embraced my natural, curly hair for the first time in around 10 years (no lie!), I have embraced my bare skin and ventured out without a full face of makeup most days and i've looked like a scruff for the majority. But that's ok, you're allowed, you're you, be you.

Boys are hardwork but some of them are almost always worth it

Some of them, sometimes. Basically ladies, appreciate the good ones and don't let them go!

I am more resilient than I think

I've learnt to doubt myself less. I can overcome everything with a little perseverance, hard work and some help from my nearest and dearest. I've done a lot of things I thought I couldn't in 2016 and i'm still here so...

Family are da bestest

Whoever 'family' is to you. They are the bomb. The bee's knee's. Clearly the most important people ever. I've always appreciated how amazing my family truly are but this year even more so. Maybe it's because i've grown up, I just really understand how much they do for me. They help me out so much.

Sleep is a girls best friend

It is. I'm a grumpy sod without it. I do a whole lot better with it. I've learnt to prioritise it. Having a lie in is fabulous and good for you so why not?!

Happiness is something you create

It doesn't always just come to you. Life is a rollercoaster - the ups and the downs! A positive mindset is everything. That glass half full/half empty thing is ridiculously true. Happiness is something you can create through the way you look at things, react to things and deal with life's shortcomings. Everyday I have learnt to wake up and appreciate the small things, to look at my life through rose-tinted glasses and just TRY every single day to be happy. Try being the key word.

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Nobody actually cares what you look like!

Funnily enough we all look a dishevelled mess by the time we've dived in the pool and sweated our guts out on the sun lounger for 10 minutes. Aint nobody gonna look pretty after that. Even the fellas! So let's face it, nobody actually cares if you're rocking a top knot or your hair's flying everywhere. We all look as awful as eachother. Holidays are meant for fun, so as long as you're doing just that, most people won't bat an eyelid at the state of your winged eyeliner.

Everyone has 'imperfections'.

No matter what size or shape we are, we all have rolls when we sit down, some unruly cellulite and a jiggle in-between our thighs. We all have these 'so-called' imperfections. Unless you're the lucky few. So even though you might hate these little things when you look in the mirror, don't forget we're all in the same boat. We all look 8 months pregnant after lunch and a few bevvys. Who cares?!

On the most part.. we're all pretty average looking.

That's a good thing!

Body confidence isn't easy, it takes time.

We can all say we love our body and preach self-love but, that doesn't necessarily mean we truly feel it! Deep down you may not actually feel as confident or comfortable as you claim. It's not as easy thing. Have you ever wondered why it's the 40 or 50 somethings that are the most comfortable in their own skin? It really does come with time, patience and a lottttt of convincing. The more you expose yourself, the more you begin not to give it shit. So go for a few swims before your hols, workout in sports bra and don't be afraid to put on a crop top. Get used to it!

I don't need a flat stomach, a thigh gap and big boobs to be happy.

And... neither do you!

Shock of the century, i know. Believe or not, you can have as much of a great time being a size 6, 10, 14 or 20. You can have just as much fun with some extra fat to jiggle. You can have just as much fun when your thighs oh-so-sexily rub together.

The biggest thing i learnt this beach holiday is.. to love myself as i am. Flaws and all. I learnt that it really doesn't matter that much. Having a few extra lbs on me didn't change how much fun i had and it certainly didn't make my family love me any less. There's such a high standard of beauty these days, it is hard not to feel inferior. But, we need to realise that often these standards aren't realistic and they aren't 'normal' - we don't have to strive for them!

Are you body confident? Or do you still struggle when that bikinis on?

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Hello all! A recent #lbloggers chat about blog challenges got me inspired. I have a challenge list here of all the things i'll be doing before i'm 25. But, on a smaller scale, i thought i would do this A-Z of happiness challenge. This little challenge (and it was challenging) was created by Thrifty Vintage Fashion. I thought it was such a perfect blog post to share with you what i think contributes to happiness. I tried to be different from the original post as much as possible.

I'm really hoping this will helpful in your day to day life, as well as, mine! I really enjoyed writing this post. It helped me to really think about happiness in my own life. Am i happy? Is there little things i can do to make myself happier? The answer is yes.

So, here is my A-Z of happiness. 26 things that contribute happiness and what they mean to me.

A - Acknowledge

Acknlowedge all the people and things around you that make you happy. Appreciate others and don't be afraid to say Thankyou or show them you acknowledge their part in your life.

B - Beauty

Look at the details, all the little things and try to see the beauty in it. See the positives. Look for the goodness. Don't take things for granted.

C - Cultivate

Happiness is something that must be nurtured to grow and spread. You have to nurture it. It doesn't just come to you. Look after it, cherish it and help it grow.

D - Dare

Stand up and actually do the things that make you happy. Sometimes you have to be courageous and bold - do something out of your comfort zone. You have no idea how happy that may make you.

E - Endure

Happiness doesn't always come to you and it isn't always easy. Sometimes you have to go through turmoil to eventually find happiness. But, if you fight on through and be patient, eventually you will find the happiness you want. As Miley Cyrus said "It's the climbbbbb..."

F - Flexibility

Adapt, allow and accept change. Happiness, we know, isn't always an easy road. There will be bumps in the road.

G - Grateful

Back to 'A' - be thankful, be grateful. Don't just feel it.. show it! A gratitude journal is a great way to do this. Write down 3 things that you are grateful everyday - no matter how big or small they may be. Or create a 'happy jar' like me.. write down things you are grateful for everyday on a little piece of paper, fold them up and put them into a jar, when you're feeling a bit under the weather, pick one out. A perfect reminder of all the things that make you happy.

H - Hakuna Matata

"It means no worries for the rest of your days. It's our problem-free philosophyyyyy, Hakuna Matata!"

I'm not saying that we will never have problems or that we should just brush them off. But it's about not dwelling on the little things in life.. see the bigger picture. Easier said than done, i know but, sometimes you have to have this childish outlook, push the worries aside and just go for it. Try not to let the little things that won't impact you life 5 years from now, dictate your happiness in the present moment.

I - Importance

Figure out what and who is important in your life. Once you have done that, focus on them. Focus on the things that make you happy. Set them priorities. Value what is of significant importance to you.

J - Jump

Sing. Dance. Write. Laugh. Draw. Sleep. Workout. WHATEVER it is that makes you happy, even if only in the present moment, just do it. Be pro-active. Celebrate happiness. We often don't do that enough.

K - Kindhearted

We are taught from a young age to be kind. But i think it's so important to make kind choices on a daily basis, whether it is opening a door for someone, smiling and saying hello to a local, helping an old lady on the bus. There is so many little things you can do everyday to make someone else happy and in return, make yourself happy.

L - Love

I'm a wear-my-heart-on-my-sleeve kinda girl. Now that isn't always conducive to happiness but, sometimes you have to be vulnerable and allow yourself to feel. Feel it all, the good, the bad, the ugly. Chances are you'll look back with a warm heart and happiness.

M - Mindful.. (in the) Moment

Mindfulness is all the rage recently. It's something i've been practicing for around a year now - it has made a huge difference to my mental wellbeing. Being present in the moment is so calming, you notice things you never have before. It is about dealing with the moment, whatever your feelings, accepting them and moving on. It's such a peaceful practice.

N - Noteworthy

Sometimes it's good to do something big and amazing. It isn't always necessary for happiness but, sometimes it can be good to do something noteworthy and memorable. Not just that, but note these things down. Whether it is a journal, a photo album, a blog post. Anything. Put it down onto material as a reminder of the happy times in your life.

O - Openness

Be open to new people, new experiences and most of all, happiness. You never know what you might find.

P - Practice

Happiness doesn't always come easy. It's something you have to work for all the time. It's a work in progress and something you have to practice every. single. day.

Q - Quiet (ssh)

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” [Thich Nhat Hanh]

You can't be truly happy until you're truly comfortable with yourself. So shut off for a while: switch off your phone, shut your bedroom door and spend some much needed quality time with yourself. When you become comfortable spending time alone, you will feel happier and more confident in every day life.

R - R & R .. Rest & Relaxation

There ain't nothing wrong with a bit of TLC. So have a pamper, put your feet up, get a good nights sleep and de-stress! This is sometimes all we need for a little 'pick me up'.

S - Safety Net

Find someone or something you can rely on to perk you up, to help you things off your chest and lift your mood. Your safety blanket.

T - Trust

Having trustworthy people in your life that aren't gonna cause drama or unnecessary stress is so important. Have trust in them but also, trust yourself! Trust your own capabilities; you have everything you need within yourself to be happy.

U - Unite

Back to that safety net, support group, trustworthy friendships. Unite with them, you don't have to deal with things alone. Strength in numbers and all that.

V - Values & Virtue

Live your life following your own beliefs, morals and values. Knowing that your are doing what you believe is right is calming to the soul. Internal conflict will only result in unhappiness. Be yourself!

W - Wellbeing

Look after yourself, mentally, physically and emotionally. There is so many ways to do this, exercise, diet, sleep, meditation/mindfulness, laughing more, ranting less. Don't neglect your own wellbeing, take care of yourself!

X - E- Xcuses

Get rid of them. Stop making them. If your jobs making you unhappy.. find a new one. If you're partner isn't making you happy.. get rid of them. Not always that easy but, moral of the story, don't settle for something that isn't making you feel fulfilled!

Y - (say) YES

Sometimes you just gotta' take a chance and just say YES. Even if it is out of your comfort zone. It could end up being a really great decision and bringing you a lot of happiness.

Z - Zest.. (for life)

Last but not least.. have a zest for life. Have ambitions, goals, dreams, achievements. Do everything you can to achieve these and live everyday, quite literally, like it is your last. Cheesy but, yanno.

"Fake it 'til you make it!"

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Fell out of love with the fitness community. Fitspiration. Obsession. http://psychologyfoodandfitness.blogspot.co.uk/

Uh-oh. Controversial. But i feel like i really needed to get this post out there. It has been on my mind since i first started the blog actually. I eluded to it on my 'About Me' page. It's a rather personal post and not everyone will agree. But from personal experience and observations i can see the damage that the fitness industry can do to vulnerable people. And sometimes, i actually wish i'd never tried to lose weight in the first place. I wish i never searched #fitspiration on Instagram or Tumblr. I wish i never joined the gym. I wish i never followed bikini competitors. Most of all... i wish i never let my body define my self-worth.

Its true.. for a long time i let my weight on the scales dictate who i was a person. I had to be skinny. I had to look like my inspiration Nikki Blacketter. I had to have goals to compete. Or who was i? Why was i even working out if i didn't want a six-pack to post on instagram or to strut around in a bikini on stage? Nowadays the fitness community is bombarded with competitors. Shredded competitors with minimal body fat. At one point i wanted that. I thought i needed that. But as time has gone on i have realised i need to follow a more balanced approach.

So i fell out of love with fitness. The fitness community. The fitness ethos that i had once been such a part of. I was sick of feeling like a failure if i didn't work out 6 times a week (sometimes twice a day - can't forget that fasted cardio eh?!). Sick of seeing egg whites and protein oats on my instagram feed. Tired of looking at shredded physiques that i felt like i was never going to achieve. And you know why i wasn't going to achieve it? Because deep down i didn't really want to. I really wasn't that arsed. I value eating triple scoops of ice-cream with my family more. Going for pizzas with my flatmates. And sharing a big, fat takeaway with my boyfriend.

Achieving Balance:

Working out because you want to. NOT because you have to or you should.

Working out to take care of your body - to get fitter or stronger. NOT to change how it looks. NOT because you hate your body,

Eating healthily or following macros in moderation. NOT restricting yourself and missing out on memories with friends or family.

Focusing on goals and personal bests. NOT focusing on your weight or body fat as a marker of 'fitness'.

I was guilty of a lot of those. I wouldn't go on a night out because i didn't want to waste calories on alcohol. Or not wanting to go for a meal with my family because i didn't have the macros. This is not fun and it's not healthy.

Balance is hard. But achievable.

This is why i unfollowed A LOT of people on Instagram. I want to focus more on positivity, on loving my body with all its flaws and enjoying life to the full! I don't want to be constantly thinking about hitting my protein or making sure i get in all my gym sessions. Don't get me wrong, fitness will always be a big part of my life. But, i work out at the gym because i love it. I enjoy it. It's my me time. My escape. I fell out of love with all the pressures that come along with it - with the ideal, Instagram 'fit life'.

Does anybody else feel this way? Or is it just me?
Is anybody else striving for balance?

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Sidenote: The "Real Talk" series is going to be a series of posts about body positivity and self love. This is a topic i am extremely passionate about.

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Life: 16 Things In 2016.

8 things i am grateful for:

Meeting new people

Travelling (a lot!)

Graduating

Getting ma car 🚗

Becoming 100% vegetarian and 95% vegan

Growth in self-love/body image

Bringing back my love for blogging

Experiences > things (life's short yo', appreciate it!)

8 things I have learnt in 2016:

Be a good egg

There's more to life than food and weight - so love yourself regardless

I can venture out the house in joggers and no makeup

Boys are hardwork but some of them are almost always worth it

I am more resilient than I think

Family are da bestest

Sleep is a girls best friend

Happiness is something you create

Real Talk: Things I Learnt On A Beach Holiday.

Nobody actually cares what you look like!

Everyone has 'imperfections'.

On the most part.. we're all pretty average looking.

Body confidence isn't easy, it takes time.

I don't need a flat stomach, a thigh gap and big boobs to be happy.

And... neither do you!

Blog Challenge: The A-Z of Happiness!

So, here is my A-Z of happiness. 26 things that contribute happiness and what they mean to me.

A - Acknowledge

B - Beauty

C - Cultivate

D - Dare

E - Endure

F - Flexibility

G - Grateful

I - Importance

J - Jump

K - Kindhearted

L - Love

M - Mindful.. (in the) Moment

N - Noteworthy

O - Openness

P - Practice

Q - Quiet (ssh)

R - R & R .. Rest & Relaxation

S - Safety Net

T - Trust

U - Unite

V - Values & Virtue

W - Wellbeing

X - E- Xcuses

Y - (say) YES

Z - Zest.. (for life)

"Fake it 'til you make it!"

Real Talk: Why I Fell Out Of Love With The Fitness Community.

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