Real Talk: Fast forward to my new but the same thoughts about fitness.
I am fully with those revolutions. I wholeheartedly agree that what you eat should not define you and should not be the be all and end all of life (like it can be for us a lot of us that get sucked up in the world of 'dieting culture'). Working out is such an important part of my life to this day now; it's my therapy, my sanity hour, my time to switch off and think. I work out now for functionality; to be strong (like really damn strong, 'don't mess with me' kinda strong). To clear my head and get those endorphins. Seeing my weights or form improve is much more satisfactory to me than seeing my (scale) weight decrease or my (non-existent) thigh gap increase. But as you will all know from my last post, that hasn't always been the case and seeing my weight decrease, or shall I say see my body change, was much more important than my bodies safety, my mental health or my social life.
I wrote some tips on my last post of things I personally believe can help you get rid of this obsession, because it is an obsession, with working and out and trying to alter your body shape (because a big part of weight-lifting in the gym is not just weight loss, it's fat loss and changing the shape of your body - hence the term 'body building').
Achieving Balance:
Working out because you want to. NOT because you have to or you think that you should.
Working out to take care of your body - to get fitter or stronger. NOT to change how it looks. NOT because you hate your body.
Eating healthily or following macros in moderation. NOT restricting yourself and missing out on memories with friends or family.
Focusing on goals and personal bests. NOT focusing on your weight or body fat as a marker of 'fitness'.
I was guilty of a lot of those. I wouldn't go on a night out because I didn't want to waste calories on alcohol, and I didn't want to go for a meal with my family because I didn't have the macros. This is not fun and it's not healthy.
Balance is hard. But achievable.
Ok so throw-back to my life circa 2016 - sounds pretty miserable am I right? Liberating (dramatic but quite necessary) from this 'life thief' (in Christy's words) is hard. We live in a world that isn't conducive to this goal. Yes, there has been a big change to a more 'curvy' figure which lends itself to a bit more body fat. But, this can be harmful in its own way - like I said weightlifting for aesthetics much of the time is about building and sculpting those curves (think big booty and small waist). Nowadays it's everywhere, especially social media. When I first started way back in 2011/2 there was the good ol' Tumblr #fitspo but I don't really remember weightlifting or working out being that mainstream at that point (it could've been but I just don't remember it). Fast forward to 2015-18. Fitness is EVERYWHERE. Youtube/Instagram influencers (particularly fitness influencers) have blew up. I love a lot of them - Nikki Blacketter, Whitney Simmons and Grace Fit are just a few of my favourites. It's not even like I'm immune. But it's hard not to be obsessed with weight and fitness when you're constantly exposed to fitness related material. Youtube, shopping, magazines, TV shows, documentaries - we are literally being bombarded to some kind of media that is mentioning 'weight loss' or 'work out' or 'fitness' or 'eat clean' or something. Even people who have never really hit the gym in their life are starting to succumb to this pressure to fit in - is this a good or a bad thing who knows?!.
Not to be so negative though. There are obvious benefits to being health focused in a balanced way, which is kind of what this whole ramble is about. There are so many influencers out there who are using their influence to really promote a positive attitude to #health. Again, some of my faves: Zanna Van Dijk and the other Girl Gains gals (amazing!), Alice Liveing, and my longtime favourites, Fitter Food (Matt and Keris are just... I have no words).
Anyway, there are many things that have helped me break free from the chains of fitness narcissism. That's what it was essentially. Just to name a few:
- Travelling - I mean who can workout 5 times a week and eat moderately when in Asia... not me! 3 months and 14lbs later, Nadia's a very happy bunny.
- Finding other passions - it's not a crime to love something and prioritise than non-fitnessy activity (even if it is Netflix - oops).
- Working hard - I know there are many quotes out there about how there is alwaysssss enough time in the day and how you just have to be efficient. Well, that's a load of crap, I'm sorry. There might be but it can also make you pretty damn miserable, burn out your hormones, disrupt your sleep (which is so much more important by the way), ruin your social life and basically just turn you into a hot mess. And although 'hot mess' is often used in a fun, 'oh this is soo cool' kinda way, it's not. It's not cool to be a walking zombie all in the name of meal prep and getting in a workout you can't miss.
In this post, I'm talking about your average (relatively healthy weight) Joe (or Joanne). I'm not talking about athletes or competitors. I'm watching the Eddie Hall 'Strongman' documentary on Netflix as I type and he workouts out 4-5 days a week for 3 and a half hours a time - yikes. But, we're not competing to be the worlds strongest are we? We're not in the Olympics. We have other lives and other jobs to fulfil. So please don't be thinking you need to spend HOURS in the gym every week. Here's what you can do to reel in your training obsession but still keep active and looking fiiiiine:
- Cut your workouts down - yes I said down - to 3-4 days per week, 1 hour. A lot of articles online (by soruces I think you can actually trust *fingers crossed* - T-Nation, WebMD - Scientific article - actually say 3 times per week lifting weights is enough, especially if you're a beginner or just trying to maintain).
- Add more natural movement and daily activity. Aim to walk 8000-10000 steps a day.
- Do some stretching /mobility work a couple of times a week. Foam roll if you can, it's a bitch, but a beneficial bitch.
Other important things:
- Find a workout you enjoy. I've recently started a strength based class (kind of Cross Fit inspired without a lot of fancy equipment - think barbells and kettlebells only) which I never would have done before because it didn't fit into my perfectly structured gym plan or the latest workout guide I needed to stick to.
- Throw out the gym plan! Kind of joking, kind of not joking. Sometimes it's great to not follow a plan and just do whatever you feel like doing that day. Don't feel like chest on chest day? Do something else. FREEDOM. Completely changes your mindset of training from aesthetics to fun.
- Train with a friend. It can be fun and force you to try new things. It also means you get the best of both worlds - a workout and a social life.
- Train in the style you enjoy the most, not the way your favourite Youtuber does. Like supersets? Great, do them. Like 10 x 10 or 5 x 5? Great, do that. Prefer bodyweight? Ok, use it. Enjoy cardio? Do it (but plz add a few weight/body weight exercises once a week - your body will benefit I promise).
- Try to not look at your favourite Youtubers/Instagrammers/Bloggers every single second of every single day (it's hard I know). But, in the long run, finding happiness away from this small part of life will help you a) stop feeling guilting for not working out or not doing enough to look 'better', b) it will stop fuelling that little part of you that wants to diet or workout harder when your sore or undernourished and c) it will give you more time to dedicate to friends, family, work/school and sleep which are other important parts of your life.
To conclude. I am not saying fitness is evil or that you shouldn't work out. Let me repeat that. I am not saying fitness is evil or that you shouldn't work out. What I am saying is that healthy eating (healthy with 5 chocolate digestives before bed - don't judge me!) and working out to better your body in terms of functionality and health (not just physique related) is a more positive way to go about it that will benefit you in the long run.
Now I believe I do still have a lot of issues where food and exercise are concerned but I am in a MUCH better place mentally. It is so freeing and I honestly can't put into words how it feels to be leading a more balanced lifestyle. My PhD is my focus, NOT my weight and that's OK. That's pretty normal. It's pretty normal to sit in bed with Netflix and a snack without a care in the world about calories and how many rolls your stomach has - throw-back to being a child! Would I like to shred a few lbs? Yes. Does that mean I'm going to sacrifice my health for it? No. Health 110% comes first - mentally and physically. Being 14lbs heavier honestly hasn't impacted my life - SHOCK OF THE CENTURY. My family and friends do not love me less for it. My work hasn't collapsed. I've had a few issues fitting into some of my clothes [sob :'(] but, apart from that it hasn't made a difference at all. And when you finally realise that your whole mindset will completely change. I assure you. Then you can go back to working out and eating a balanced diet that makes YOU feel good because it makes you feel good.
